June 10th, 2026
Wake up, Nepal. Things are happening.

Good Morning, Nepal!

1. The Royal File: Back to the Future
Our Home Minister Sudan Gurung has decided that the dusty, cobweb-covered file of the Narayanhiti Royal Massacre needs a good airing out. Because clearly, we haven’t had enough dramatic plot twists in our political timeline this century. We’re sure this decision will lead to a swift, logical conclusion and definitely won't end up as just another political stunt for the headlines. If the walls of that palace could talk, they’d probably be begging to remain silent just to avoid the headache of a new investigation.

2. Ministerial Musical Chairs: The Remix
President Paudel has shuffled the deck, and we now have a 17-member cabinet, because apparently, 15 just wasn't enough to keep the tea industry alive. Sudan Gurung is back in the Home Ministry, and Mahabir Pun is officially our Science Minister—hopefully, he can invent a way to make our bureaucracy run at something faster than a snail’s pace. Gurung is fifth in seniority, while Pun is eighth, proving that in this game, your rank is as stable as a house of cards in a monsoon wind. Congratulations to all involved; may your chairs be comfortable and your tenure longer than a parliamentary session.

3. Rabi’s Courtroom Makeover
The Parsa District Court has graciously allowed the state to drop the "organized crime" tag from the charges against RSP Chair Rabi Lamichhane. It seems the legal team decided that one scandal is enough, so they’ll focus exclusively on the cooperative fraud case—a real relief, since multitasking is so bad for one's blood pressure. Judge Mohan Subedi gave the thumbs up, and now the legal drama enters its next thrilling, predictable chapter. One must wonder if the files are being shredded or just color-coded for better management.

4. Lightless Streets and Heavy Debts
The Ministry of Energy is suddenly very interested in why 335 municipalities collectively owe 10 billion rupees for streetlights. It’s a bold strategy: leave the cities in the dark, then charge them for the darkness because the lights weren't working anyway. We suggest the municipalities pay up—perhaps in loose change or promises of future glory—before the NEA decides to turn off the power at the Singha Durbar gates too. After all, it's hard to find corrupt files in the dark, isn't it?

5. RSP Bagmati’s Internal Wrestling Match
The RSP Bagmati province convention has devolved into an election because, naturally, three people all wanted the same shiny "President" chair. Dr. Achyutam Lamichhane, Utsav Aryal, and Badan Bhandari are locked in a power struggle that proves "consensus" is just a word politicians use until they realize they want the title for themselves. It’s adorable that they think this level of internal drama is a fresh take, rather than just the same old party politics with a different logo. May the most ambitious candidate win the right to deal with everyone else’s complaints.

6. UML’s Grand Suggestion Collection Tour
UML is launching a nationwide "suggestion collection" mission led by Ram Bahadur Thapa 'Badal' to figure out where it all went wrong. Because nothing fixes a crumbling organizational structure like driving around the country asking people, "So, why didn't you vote for us?" It’s a noble endeavor, provided the listeners actually have ears and aren't just waiting for their turn to talk. We look forward to the inevitable report that concludes, "Everything is fine, we just need more posters."

7. Israel Dreams Hit a Language Wall
Students wanting to work in Israel are in a tailspin because the English language test has been postponed indefinitely. With the deadline to apply for caregiver roles looming on June 22nd, it seems our ability to export labor is once again being thwarted by basic logistics. It’s the classic Nepali catch-22: you can't get the job without the test, and you can't take the test because someone didn't print the papers or turn on the lights. Keep dreaming of those shores, folks, while the paperwork collects dust.

8. DDC Milk: The New National Pride
The Cabinet spent valuable time discussing how to promote DDC milk, because apparently, drinking local is now a matter of national security. Minister Gita Chaudhary is leading the charge, hoping to make dairy consumption a "national pride" project—move over, massive infrastructure, we’ve got yogurt to sell. We hope the ministers enjoyed their promotional packages; let’s hope the milk is fresher than the government’s promises. Next stop: international diplomacy via the medium of artisanal cheese.

9. Lumbini’s Underground Bunker Mystery
A US organization has built a "secret" underground bunker in Lumbini, completely ignoring the master plan, because why follow rules when you have a construction crew and a dream? What started as a quest for peace has turned into a dispute over why there's a subterranean fortress where a monastery should be. We assume they’re preparing for the apocalypse, or perhaps they just really value their privacy from the tourists. Either way, it's a great metaphor for how everything in this country is built: quietly, illegally, and definitely not according to the blueprint.
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Sita Rana
Chief Sunrise Satirist

Sita distills the daily chaos into nine bite-sized jokes so you can digest the news before your tea gets cold or the Kathmandu smog makes it impossible to see the paper.