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 result day coming, not sure how to confront my parents
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Posted on 06-15-22 4:49 AM     Reply [Subscribe]
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(i rewritten this post in an understanding way in complete english no romanized nepali and decreaese its length wherever possible).

if you don't know about TU/IOE back exam procedures, it might be harder to follow me.

So this was in 8th semester. till now I had these number of backs

1) 2 backs from 7th semester.

2) 1 back from 6th semester.

3) 1 back from 3rd semester (I didn't know till 8th semester at that time that I would fail this subject as well as its results hadn't came up yet)

i knew when will all these back exams happen.

1) 7th sem back exam would happen immediately after 8th sem regular exam.

2) 6th semester back exam would happen in poush or sth? i forgot honestly.

3) 3rd semester back exam would have happened after 8th semester as well. All year first part back happens at the same time i.e after regular exams of 2nd part are done.

So I decided to clear all my backs. i.e my plan was-:

1) clear 6th sem back in poush or magh.

2) clear 7th sem back after regular exam(i didn't know i would fail in that 3rd sem exam again for the fourth time or so, i assumed i would pass that).

by god, my biggest mistake. the subject that i failed in 6th semester was huge.

and i am that type of guy, who studies to learn 100% of stuffs rather than just for passing exams*. it literally took me an entire semester minus 1 month to complete that subject. it was the biggest subject i ever studied in my life. without any youtube tutorials or any courses available in internet. i had 0 notes and that was my hardest subject when i studied.

then notice came that 8th sem exam would happen at chaitra 4.

i regret man i regret spending time to study for that idiotic back exam which i could've done later on.

(you might say, you should've studied just to pass) the reason why i am strict on "you should study to learn" is-:

1) my grades in earlier years aren't great, so i thought of improving them. but tbh, ioe ko back exam ma good grades lyaune asa nagare ni hudo raixa. they cut marks like murderers.

2) i wasted around 2 years of college life due to depression and mental health issues, manchildness, lack of direction, orientation, lack of maturity,desparate soul..i wasted time on business and marketing and seo stuffs in college.

(but i wasn't talented enough to manage both of these things, plus my job wasn't sth where you go to office, do the work and return, it was more like a business where you would need to be actively thinking about it 24*7)

3) i personally got an intuution that theoritical knowledge is also important in life if you don't want to get stuck at a position. tespaxi 1 mahina ma i decided to study 3 subjects only.

My internal marks of 8th sem was totally done. i got probably only 8 out of 20 in each. I didn't give any assessment. Had I given, I would've failed. I didn't know even a single thing of 8th semester before 1 month of exam. I was totally unconscious(not clever) as I was staying in home all day due to corona lockdown and online classes.

this is nearly ashar here in nepal(for those staying abroad). Yesterday non circuit branches results came out. Now today or tommorow circuit branch results will come out.
but tyo garnu ko kei bikalpa nai thiyena. jammai subjects padera gako bhaye sayad kunai ma ni pass hunna thiye hola ultai.

if i had not made that idiotic decision, here's how my life would've been-:

I would've cleared 8th sem regular exams with nice marks in many subjects.ps it is easier to score in regular exams than in back exams. due to teacher's perception and question quality is harder in back exams mostly.

in baisakh, there would be back exams of 3rd and 7th sem subjects. i would give back exams of 2 of those subjects one of 3rd and one of 7ths semester.

and for 6th sem back and 7th sem another bac, i would have given that in around dashain.

now i can have 4+(1)+(x) backs.

4 is sure.

it would not have been hard to study 2 subjects in 6 months. no pressure, plus the feeling that i did well in 8th semester would have made a positive remark in my mental health. but no, good things aren't written to happen for my idiotic nonsense retard. i don't know how bad i should be falling down. today is probably the day of results and i honestly don't know how the hell i am going to tell this to my parents.

Posted on 06-15-22 9:47 AM     [Snapshot: 56]     Reply [Subscribe]
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the saddest thing is i am probably getting extremely low marks in 8th sem internal and even lesser marks in 8th sem regular exams of those 3 subjects. meanwhile also burdening myself with unnecessary load. i genuinely got done from all angles. had i been in right presence of mind, i would've ended up with nice internal marks, nice marks in all regular exams by passing them. and nice amount of time to study for back exams with nice low level pressure (not much stress). i keep making these mistakes continuously in my life due to my lack of presence of mind, once i have became an adult.

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